Unemployment hits different when you’re a man
OPINION
Mid last year, I was invited to my auntie’s place for a wedding meeting.
Her daughter, one of my cousins, was getting married, and as the elders like to say, "Marriage is a community affair." (Translation: Prepare your wallet, whether you like it or not.)
Now, it had been years since I last saw my cousins. We had all grown up, some thriving, some just... surviving.
Just before the meeting started, I overheard my auntie going off on one of my cousins.
Apparently, he had been out of work for a year now.
The guy was just there, vibing, reminiscing about childhood, talking about how life was so simple when all we had to worry about was cartoon time and stolen chapatis.
Then BOOM. Auntie struck.
"You’re STILL here?"
Not "I’m happy to see you."
Not "Have you eaten?"
Just straight-up, "Why are you breathing rent-free?"
The whole room went silent. Even the chair he was sitting on felt uncomfortable.
That’s when it hit me - unemployment is a different kind of violence for men.
-Your family starts treating you like furniture. You’re just there.
-Your opinions? Suddenly irrelevant. You could say "The sky is blue", and someone will respond, "Do you have a job, though?"
-Respect is on a subscription plan. It only comes when you’re earning.
At family gatherings, you don’t even get a proper chair. You sit on the edge of the plastic chair, like a guest in your own home.
And let’s talk about relationships. You could be the sweetest, most God-fearing man, but the moment you say, “I’m between jobs right now...” suddenly, she’s "focusing on herself."
The truth is, society is HARSH on unemployed men.
-It’s like your worth is tied to your wallet (well, of course it is).
-Your struggles? Nobody wants to hear them.
-Your potential? No one cares until you make it.
But listen, my brother.
This does not define you. A season of struggle is not a lifetime sentence.
Let the following words encourage and comfort you:
1. Don’t let shame paralyse you. Apply for jobs, start a hustle, do something. Even if it’s small. Movement is key.
2. Stay around people who respect you – even when you're broke. Because true respect doesn’t expire when your wallet is empty.
3. Develop skills that increase your value. The economy is tough, but skills will always be currency.
4. Take care of your mental health. This phase can mess with your mind. Stay strong, boss.
5. Put your pride aside and let people know you're on the lookout for opportunities. Be open to starting small - even if the pay isn’t great, what matters is getting your foot in the door and building from there.
One day, you’ll look back at this struggle and laugh from your air-conditioned office (or business empire).
Stay patient. Keep pushing.
For now, if no one has told you today, you still matter and this too shall pass.
*This article originally appeared as a post by the author on his LinkedIn account.
** Uganda-based Reagan Kawuma specialises in helping small business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs navigate today’s fast-paced market. On LinkedIn, he says his goal is to remove the guesswork from creating a standout business brand and driving meaningful innovation. He can be found on LinkedIn under his name and the tagline: 'Demystifying Small Business'
Her daughter, one of my cousins, was getting married, and as the elders like to say, "Marriage is a community affair." (Translation: Prepare your wallet, whether you like it or not.)
Now, it had been years since I last saw my cousins. We had all grown up, some thriving, some just... surviving.
Just before the meeting started, I overheard my auntie going off on one of my cousins.
Apparently, he had been out of work for a year now.
The guy was just there, vibing, reminiscing about childhood, talking about how life was so simple when all we had to worry about was cartoon time and stolen chapatis.
Then BOOM. Auntie struck.
"You’re STILL here?"
Not "I’m happy to see you."
Not "Have you eaten?"
Just straight-up, "Why are you breathing rent-free?"
The whole room went silent. Even the chair he was sitting on felt uncomfortable.
That’s when it hit me - unemployment is a different kind of violence for men.
-Your family starts treating you like furniture. You’re just there.
-Your opinions? Suddenly irrelevant. You could say "The sky is blue", and someone will respond, "Do you have a job, though?"
-Respect is on a subscription plan. It only comes when you’re earning.
At family gatherings, you don’t even get a proper chair. You sit on the edge of the plastic chair, like a guest in your own home.
And let’s talk about relationships. You could be the sweetest, most God-fearing man, but the moment you say, “I’m between jobs right now...” suddenly, she’s "focusing on herself."
The truth is, society is HARSH on unemployed men.
-It’s like your worth is tied to your wallet (well, of course it is).
-Your struggles? Nobody wants to hear them.
-Your potential? No one cares until you make it.
But listen, my brother.
This does not define you. A season of struggle is not a lifetime sentence.
Let the following words encourage and comfort you:
1. Don’t let shame paralyse you. Apply for jobs, start a hustle, do something. Even if it’s small. Movement is key.
2. Stay around people who respect you – even when you're broke. Because true respect doesn’t expire when your wallet is empty.
3. Develop skills that increase your value. The economy is tough, but skills will always be currency.
4. Take care of your mental health. This phase can mess with your mind. Stay strong, boss.
5. Put your pride aside and let people know you're on the lookout for opportunities. Be open to starting small - even if the pay isn’t great, what matters is getting your foot in the door and building from there.
One day, you’ll look back at this struggle and laugh from your air-conditioned office (or business empire).
Stay patient. Keep pushing.
For now, if no one has told you today, you still matter and this too shall pass.
*This article originally appeared as a post by the author on his LinkedIn account.
** Uganda-based Reagan Kawuma specialises in helping small business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs navigate today’s fast-paced market. On LinkedIn, he says his goal is to remove the guesswork from creating a standout business brand and driving meaningful innovation. He can be found on LinkedIn under his name and the tagline: 'Demystifying Small Business'
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