Addressing GBV more robustly

Each year, the country is intensifying its efforts to combat gender-based violence (GBV) by implementing various approaches to address the issue.

However, it is sad to note that addressing GBV is hindered by the resistant mentality of some men, which significantly weakens the effectiveness of these approaches.

The resistance of some men to change is one of the key factors fuelling GBV cases in the motherland.

These men, with their resistant mentality, steadfastly believe in their own actions – be they right or wrong – which leads to a worrisome trend.

Resistant men often respond to break-ups in intimate relationships with threats and fail to seek support to help them calm down.

Men with this mentality find it extremely difficult to let go of partners who are no longer interested in maintaining the relationship.

Their resistant mentality overrides their common sense and can lead to violence against women.

Some may argue that GBV awareness campaigns are ineffective, but this is untrue, as significant progress has been made, and the majority of men are now aware of the consequences of committing GBV.

The issue among some men lies in their fear of break-ups, which can make them extremely dangerous when they are cheated on by their partners.

Denial also affects men who have multiple partners.

If one of their partners gets tired and tries to end the relationship, such a man can easily turn to murder.

Is that obsession or madness?

One may also wonder if these dangerous men are aware that their partners are other men’s ex-partners.

Why did these ex-partners not commit the same crime?

Are those men superior to others who can commit such satanic acts?

Justifying violence

Other men have accepted the pain of break-ups and learned to live their lives, even seeing their ex-partners with new partners. This is a beautiful trend that every man should embrace or adopt to help collectively end GBV.

Resistance diminishes men’s ability to cope with the pain and disappointments of break-ups.

The resistant mentality among men boosts their confidence to justify violence in the name of 'girlfriend allowances' and other material things they provide their partners.

Once their denial takes hold, they commit GBV, leading to arrest and imprisonment, along with other negative consequences that affect their immediate families.

It is deeply sad to learn that resistant men see no future after a break-up; they find no purpose in living, have no mercy and are consumed by darkness and hopelessness.

The same resistant traits prevent them from recognising red flags in their relationships and make it impossible for them to resolve issues amicably or find the courage to walk away.

These are the same men who hate positive masculinity discussions with fellow men who went through similar break-up pains but were able to peacefully – without committing violence toward their previous partners – move on.

Resistance makes men forget that not all partners are interested in being in a relationship for too long, though there are benefits/material things that are freely offered to them.

Work together to combat GBV

Continuous resistance behaviours among men are not only frustrating the implementation of GBV programmes, but also create an unsafe environment for a majority of women in ‘serious relationships’ as their freedom to escape from toxic relationships may be accompanied with life-threatening acts from their partners.

Therefore, solidifying and strengthening the engagement of public and private institutions as well as households on this issue can assist in reducing acts of GBV from one generation to the next.

It is worth noting that these resistant behaviours among men cannot be solved by the ministry or individuals.

It requires a collective stakeholders approach to sensitise men to face reality without resorting to GBV.

By doing so, we can create a safe and loving environment for both men and women in our society.

It is also important for the government and its stakeholders to dig deep into their coffers to prioritise funding GBV organisations in both rural and urban areas in order to strengthen its position and actions against GBV. In the end, it’s of utmost importance to integrate sport in GBV programmes as a tool to reach out to more men.

*Tobias Nanhinda is a librarian at the gender ministry. The views in this article are his own and not those of his employer.