Never trust a doctor whose wife has a casket shop

By: Jack Muyambango

My father did not live very long after my birth and with the passing of years; I have trouble recollecting his face. However one element in the way he wanted to raise my two sisters and I did die with him. As a small boy I vividly remember how he emphasised to build certain attributes in us. On no account did daddy believe in hypothesising, daddy never worked on the theory of assumption. He did not tell you something, especially an instruction and assumed you had heard. Each time he repeatedly asked, “Have you heard?”… “What did I say?” And with our eyes almost popping out of their sockets, we would repeat what he had told us. We were always attentive whenever he was talking to us, because we knew we would soon say just that again. For daddy to believe that you had heard, you had to repeat what he had said.

As I grew, I started to wonder about this. Why did my father always do that? Did he realise we didn’t like the hard task of an “on the spot examination” each time we were sent to go and do something? I think I now steadfastly believe that daddy really knew what he was doing and this is why am telling this entire “daddy” story when there are many good fathers out there. Brethren, as foretold on the top of this page, I want to talk about this thing called “trust”.

At twenty, I may not be able to claim to have seen a lot of life, but I have surely seen substantively enough to give me pause for thought. From my dad’s fathering style, I have come to realise that trust is farfetched, trust is not given as a certificate of attendance, not an award for having been there – trust is expensive, trust is earned; and I mean hard-earned, and ought not be given so easily. Be careful whom to give your trust. Never misappropriate trust.

I came to appreciate that daddy knew clearly that it is very possible for someone to listen and hear you, but not understanding a single thing of what you have told them! I now realise that my father knew very well that it is not every eye that looks at you that sees you! Thus, as a parent, he perhaps wanted to be sure he had communicated effectively. Therefore, most importantly, it is not every mouth that says good morning to you that wishes you had a good morning! Not every smile is a smile of happiness, not every laugh a sound of joy and perhaps not every person who fails to greet you is an enemy. Be watchful upon whom you bestow your trust.

My great model of resilience and love, Nelson Mandela knew that despite “that” ugly past the only way to bring about a different society lay in forgiveness. I am pursuing a degree in Public Management and for me; personal reflection on the nature of my clients is part of my daily university classes. If I understand man deeply, I will be a better public servant; I will know when to do what and exactly what to do when, depending on applies at the time.

I believe that in order for you to give any type of service to anyone, you must not only know what they need, but why they need that particular service and the difficulties they face to do it! I suppose that if we are a bit vigilant, we could avoid many so-called challenges in our lives. Security is among other things a necessity for both personal and national development.

Let’s say you are in the middle of Windhoek and you are looking for a way to go some place, surely, before you stop anyone to ask, you would have made a judgment of some kind about the person you approach, you won’t stop “anyone” but “someone,” thus, in your judgment, the person you stop, would have earned your trust.

You are at the station, and before the bus comes you feel you should answer to the call of nature. You have luggage and you can’t leave it just like that, hence you want someone to keep an eye on your items. Again, you won’t tell “anybody” or “everybody” but “somebody,” thus, in your judgment, the person you ask would have earned your trust. Let’s assume you have a long journey to take and some neighbour offers to take you there charge of free? This is what we are talking about! As you read this you may think it is common sense, however, how much trouble do we plunge ourselves in, day in and out despite commanding common sense?

A lot of people get into serious trouble on daily basis because of misappropriation of trust. Students have failed because they trusted the wrong company, homes have broken because some daddy and mommy trusted and got wrong advice from the so-called friend. Some ended up in jail, because they were advised by someone to teach “that guy” a lesson, my sisters have died, because they were told it just takes ten of those tablets/pills and the pregnancy will disappear, jobs have been lost because someone was advised to just “deal” with their seemingly bad boss! Children have been trafficked, because they thought the person who gave them the biscuit loved them – and with the world of technology people get swindled of their valuables day in and day out by trusting a picture on the screen of their computer. Well, country men and women, we all know that this list is just too long to be put on this particular paper.

Some promises, look just too good to be true, take time before you give your whole self to that seemingly bright offer. Take charge of your life, stay safe. There is a big difference between doing things right and doing the right thing. A doctor whose wife has a casket shop can’t be trusted to treat your ailment.

*Jack Muyambango is a second year student studying towards a bachelor of public anagement at Unam.