Rewards and struggle of bearing 11 children
As a mother of 11, joy is abundant. And while sacrifice is inevitably part of the process, appreciating the sorrows and rewards is critical, says Dorthea Immanuel.
The 43-year-old gave birth to her first child at 17.
Hailing from Ondangi village in the Oshana Region’s Okaku constituency, she beamed with joy as she shared her story with Namibian Sun two days ahead of Mother’s Day.
Immanuel said while there has been plenty of joyful moments as she counts her ‘blessings’, there were also very tough and difficult times.
If she could do things differently, she would have completed school first, she said, but does not wish away her bundles of joy.
I wanted six
Immanuel said initially she thought of having six children. Her decision was based merely on the fact that her own mother only had three children and she felt there was a void of financial assistance from her two siblings when their mother went to live in the city.
“We were gifted in school but we didn’t have the resources to keep going, so I stopped in grade 11,” she said, adding that now as a parent, she feels her own mother didn’t understand the importance of education and making sure they completed school.
“I do not blame her. She did what she could with what she had; what she thought was best. I just have to do things differently and make sure my children get educated - no matter how difficult it gets,” she stressed.
After the birth of her first child, Immanuel began ‘hustling’. Ever since, she has not known a day without going out and trying to sell wares to make ends meet.
Yesterday, she had a flu and was at home when the Namibian Sun team arrived. Despite being under the weather, she was still selling ground nuts for N$5 to passers-by to keep making an income while she recovers.
“Indeed, the sacrifices you make and the concerns you have for your children can make you forget about the joys of being a mother. Motherhood is challenge for any woman. But sacrifices aside, the love, appreciation and amazement can be fulfilling.”
Judgment
Her face lights up as she talks about looking after her six boys and five girls.
“Having someone who understands your feelings, support from a spouse and neighbours, can help lighten the load,” Immanuel said.
She has, however, not been as lucky, as often she has been judged for giving birth to “so many” children.
“People would ask how I’ll cater to them.”
Immanuel said the journey has had its ups and downs, but added that she would not trade it for anything.
“It was not an easy journey and it was even more difficult for an unemployed person, but I swore to myself that my children would not go to bed hungry.”
Failed birth control
After her fourth child, she went on birth control to avoid getting pregnant again, but the side effects were unbearable.
“I tried the three-month injection and I would bleed for a month non-stop. I went back to the hospital and the nurses suggested I go on the pill.
"I changed the method and I would have severe abdominal pain. So unbearable it would feel like like labour pains. This is when I thought family planning was not for me,” Immanuel said.
Good health
The mother of 11 said she had natural births with all her pregnancies and only spent a day or two in hospital after giving birth before she was discharged. Both mother and baby were in good health every single time.
According to Immanuel, instilling discipline in 11 different individuals was the most difficult part of the journey, but she noted that, being Christian, she believes God guided her parenting skills.
Pap was their staple food as she could not afford luxuries, she added. Her husband is a cleaner, and as a result, her children could not qualify for a social grant.
“Children are a joy and blessing. Just make sure they are God-fearing and respect their elders,” she said.
“I love my children. I feel so blessed. They are my support system now. I look at them and they keep me going. I am so hopeful they will each make something out of their lives.”
‘I’m done now’
Immanuel now has four grandchildren. Her last-born, now six years old, was at home with her when Namibian Sun visited.
She jokes that she will not fall pregnant again, even though she is not on birth control.
“As God would have it. But I believe I am done now and I can look after my grandchildren,” she said.
Of her 11 children, seven are still in school.
Her first-born, aged 26, is enrolled for an accounting course at Triumphant College, while her second child is self-employed in Walvis Bay and looks after one of the younger siblings.
Her third-born joined the Namibian Defence Force (NDF) last year and is undergoing military training.
No winter wear
Immanuel said she needs assistance to provide warm clothes and full uniforms for her seven school-going children.
“We struggle with warm clothes as winter is approaching.
"On days I have not made any sales, we struggle putting food on the table."
– [email protected]
The 43-year-old gave birth to her first child at 17.
Hailing from Ondangi village in the Oshana Region’s Okaku constituency, she beamed with joy as she shared her story with Namibian Sun two days ahead of Mother’s Day.
Immanuel said while there has been plenty of joyful moments as she counts her ‘blessings’, there were also very tough and difficult times.
If she could do things differently, she would have completed school first, she said, but does not wish away her bundles of joy.
I wanted six
Immanuel said initially she thought of having six children. Her decision was based merely on the fact that her own mother only had three children and she felt there was a void of financial assistance from her two siblings when their mother went to live in the city.
“We were gifted in school but we didn’t have the resources to keep going, so I stopped in grade 11,” she said, adding that now as a parent, she feels her own mother didn’t understand the importance of education and making sure they completed school.
“I do not blame her. She did what she could with what she had; what she thought was best. I just have to do things differently and make sure my children get educated - no matter how difficult it gets,” she stressed.
After the birth of her first child, Immanuel began ‘hustling’. Ever since, she has not known a day without going out and trying to sell wares to make ends meet.
Yesterday, she had a flu and was at home when the Namibian Sun team arrived. Despite being under the weather, she was still selling ground nuts for N$5 to passers-by to keep making an income while she recovers.
“Indeed, the sacrifices you make and the concerns you have for your children can make you forget about the joys of being a mother. Motherhood is challenge for any woman. But sacrifices aside, the love, appreciation and amazement can be fulfilling.”
Judgment
Her face lights up as she talks about looking after her six boys and five girls.
“Having someone who understands your feelings, support from a spouse and neighbours, can help lighten the load,” Immanuel said.
She has, however, not been as lucky, as often she has been judged for giving birth to “so many” children.
“People would ask how I’ll cater to them.”
Immanuel said the journey has had its ups and downs, but added that she would not trade it for anything.
“It was not an easy journey and it was even more difficult for an unemployed person, but I swore to myself that my children would not go to bed hungry.”
Failed birth control
After her fourth child, she went on birth control to avoid getting pregnant again, but the side effects were unbearable.
“I tried the three-month injection and I would bleed for a month non-stop. I went back to the hospital and the nurses suggested I go on the pill.
"I changed the method and I would have severe abdominal pain. So unbearable it would feel like like labour pains. This is when I thought family planning was not for me,” Immanuel said.
Good health
The mother of 11 said she had natural births with all her pregnancies and only spent a day or two in hospital after giving birth before she was discharged. Both mother and baby were in good health every single time.
According to Immanuel, instilling discipline in 11 different individuals was the most difficult part of the journey, but she noted that, being Christian, she believes God guided her parenting skills.
Pap was their staple food as she could not afford luxuries, she added. Her husband is a cleaner, and as a result, her children could not qualify for a social grant.
“Children are a joy and blessing. Just make sure they are God-fearing and respect their elders,” she said.
“I love my children. I feel so blessed. They are my support system now. I look at them and they keep me going. I am so hopeful they will each make something out of their lives.”
‘I’m done now’
Immanuel now has four grandchildren. Her last-born, now six years old, was at home with her when Namibian Sun visited.
She jokes that she will not fall pregnant again, even though she is not on birth control.
“As God would have it. But I believe I am done now and I can look after my grandchildren,” she said.
Of her 11 children, seven are still in school.
Her first-born, aged 26, is enrolled for an accounting course at Triumphant College, while her second child is self-employed in Walvis Bay and looks after one of the younger siblings.
Her third-born joined the Namibian Defence Force (NDF) last year and is undergoing military training.
No winter wear
Immanuel said she needs assistance to provide warm clothes and full uniforms for her seven school-going children.
“We struggle with warm clothes as winter is approaching.
"On days I have not made any sales, we struggle putting food on the table."
– [email protected]
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