A mother at 13

A child herself, 13-year-old *Ndamona, affectionately known as KaChokola, hasn’t yet fully healed from giving birth to a premature baby boy in November last year at Oshikuku Hospital in Omusati Region.She is a Lady May fan, hence her nickname.The father is allegedly Steven Nghishidimbwa Barnabas (18), who was arrested after the birth of the child last year. However, he has denied being the father, and the police are set to conduct a DNA test to determine his relationship to the child.Nevertheless, Ndamona insists they were in a relationship, and describes Barnabas as her boyfriend.Charges broughtShe has, in fact, asked social workers to have him released from custody. Namibia&#039;s statutory rape law is violated when an individual has sexual contact with a child under the age of 16. On conviction, a guilty person can be fined up to N$40 000 or face up to ten years in prison, or both.A social worker from the gender ministry reported the rape to the police after Ndamona gave birth and the nurses realised how old she was.Barnabas has remained in custody since his arrest. He was denied bail, and his next appearance is scheduled for 24 April.Omusati police regional commander Commissioner Ismael Basson said Barnabas repeatedly raped Ndamona after he invited her to his house.She fell pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy on 27 November last year.Her antenatal records show she was due on 9 December 2022.Her storyNdamona wrote her exams while heavily pregnant. She passed with flying colours. In April 2022, she was eighth best in her grade six class. She finished 12th out of 46 students in her class in December.Currently, she is doing her grade seven work from home, while she is on maternity leave until April. She will then return to school.Ndamona was collecting Ombidi (wild spinach) in a field at Okapya in Oshikuku village when Namibian Sun arrived at her homestead. Her grandparents had just returned from the police station to give statements related to the case.Dressed in a green school skirt and a black and cream striped shirt, with short hair, Ndamona abandoned her chores and followed us inside.Ndamona’s mother died before she turned two, leaving her brother and herself in the care of her grandparents. Her father is unemployed and does odd jobs for a living."She came to us when she was just a year and six months old. So to her, we are mom and dad," her grandmother explained.Ndamona addresses her grandmother in two ways: as "mother" and "grandmother."The beginning of thingsNdamona said she met Barnabas at their house when he would visit her brother (14)."He took my number and started to text me. I would respond to the advances," she recalled. Ndamona has a small phone, which her grandparents gave her for emergencies.She said their relationship moved quickly, and he started inviting her for sleepovers.At the time, she was 11 and he was 17."He used to invite me to his house. Then he used to ask me to take off my clothes," she told Namibian Sun in a halting voice, her shoulders drooping.Ndamona said after the first sexual encounter, Barnabas never told her not to inform anyone, and their relationship continued."I would sneak into their house for months, and my grandparents did not see anything. I would go after midnight when they are deep in their sleep and I return before 5 am," she said.A discoveryNdamona said she discovered she was pregnant when she missed her April menstrual cycle."I did not tell anyone. I kept it to myself. To be honest, nothing much was going through my head because, although I had an idea I might be pregnant, I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t feel anything. I probably thought my grandparents would eventually find out when it starts to show," she said.Her grandmother discovered she was pregnant at six months."It was one morning when she was getting ready for school. I was so shocked ... I said to her, ‘Ndamona, you are pregnant my child’. She nodded in agreement."Ndamona&#039;s grandmother said she had told the child what would happen if she were to engage in sexual activities."Her pregnancy was a shock. Her having a boyfriend was the last thing on our minds. We took her to the hospital for antenatal care, and I started counselling her to focus on the future. What is done is done. There is no point crying over spilled milk," the grandmother said.Traditional wayShe said when they discovered Ndamona’s pregnancy, they did not think of rape or reporting the incident. Instead, as per custom, they sent an elderly to inform the family of the man about the pregnancy."He denied the pregnancy, and his mother told the person we sent that my granddaughter should go find the father of her child. It was even more painful. But we believe God will provide," Ndamona’s deeply-religious grandmother said.New family and dreamsJoseph, the baby, makes a noise, and she hushes him, and we continue our conversation."We are grateful for my grandchild. I look after the baby when she goes to school. Now she is on maternity leave. She went the first week to familiarise herself with her new subjects and get books so she can study at home while she goes back to school."Ndamona&#039;s school books are scattered around her. She carries them in a plastic bag, as she has no school bag."I want to become a natural science teacher when I grow up. I just love nature, and plants are my best friends," she said.She has not given up on her dreams."I am grateful to my grandmother for not giving up on me. I wish I had listened to her teachings; none of this would have happened."StrugglingShe could not produce milk, so since birth, Joseph has been given formula milk.This has taken a financial toll on her grandparents, who are both pensioners.Another of the challenges she faces is a lack of warm clothes and shoes.Her baby is also in need of diapers, baby powder, and lotion.*Not her real name.

A mother at 13

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Namibian Sun 2025-04-03

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A mother at 13

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Namibian Sun 2025-04-03

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